Let the new life begin

Home sweet home! Finally i'm back at home after 2 years away for education. Lying down the sofa with a cup of hot chocolate watching the rain scene is something enjoyful for me. Accompany by the random rhythm of heavy raindrops hitting the roof and the 'rainy smell' as the rain water vaporise from the hot tar road, it brings back lots of good memories. The raining atmosphere somehow feels comfortable, relaxing.

Well first I would like to say Hi to you, and if you are interested to continue reading this blog, it would also be any other ordinary dairy type blogs you read around. But hope you will find something enjoyful or helpful as you read on~

Going to Sheffield with an expectation of how things will turn out to be, but a few major incidents I've never expected to experience had changed me. And my perception of certain friends around.

These friends love me as how I love them but somehow being together with them makes me want to bang into the wall and die! Why they just can't simply accept me for who I am? Occasionally it could be something I've said, or something I've done, but whispering among yourselves really makes my heart shatter. Telling me I am weird, what would you expect me to do about something you and I don't even know where the problem comes from? I would love to join them in any gathering, but I would just sit aside listening to them. A picture of a cat is sitting among giraffes, or a red dot among the neat horizontal line patterns appear in my head, I just don't feel I could fit inside, no matter how much I tried in this 2 years. TIred, want to run away, just like going AFTER(join in the group) a GOOD LOVER(friends) you've admired from head to toes, but somehow turn out THAT PERSON JUST WON'T FANCY YOU IN ANYWAY(the group is not where you belong) no matter how you've tried, you know you won't be with that PERSON(group).

Ok, I have to stop here because this it not something I wanted to talk about, I could be in charge of mentally distressing people reading my blog. But this is the reason why 'reincarnation' is created.

1) I should join in the conversation more rather than just sitting there quietly, or if I really can't I should just leave and not
leave the atmosphere strained
2) not to worry my friends with problems they have tried to solve for me, or problems with no solution.
3) Be more protective of myself and my rights rather than agree with things I don't want, voice out what I really want
4) Allow myself to look at things from an even wider perspective
5) Don't be so pessimistic anymore under everyone else around me couldn't breath...

I'm ready now! Going out of the boundary - after reincarnation... meow~ Opps...