Reflection

i've heard people told me: 'I've seen someone really look like you.'
No doubt
My cousin sister. Amazing how similar we look. Even my cute little sis doesn't have much similarity with me



I love to analyse people by photos. From pictures your characteristic revealed. The smile capture whether is a fake or real all reveal. Whether you are a shy, joyous, playful person, is easy to see from pictures.

Remember I used to say to you once? SZ? Smile reveal in the picture would change if you change your personality, most importantly your confidence level? I'm glad to see the difference after the 1st time i meet you online. You do change a lot over these few years.

I used to be like that. My smile are fake and shallow. Is hard to tell the emotion in it. Is hard for people to approach me and befriend me. Neither did I actually see myself smiling in the mirror, because it seems so odd to me. Everything seem odd in the first time. But over these years i realised the importance of reflection. To observe and from there learning would follow. You would want to improve to be better, and beginning questioning yourself how far can you reach. Thank God, for allowing me to go through those difficult times so that i would have a clear mindset of what I actually want in life, who I am is not determine from who I was, and that any changes are possible.

These few days i've been dreaming that I was in Sheffield, I'm pursuing my degree and doing my final year project. As I flip back at the photos in Sheffield, a place where i would call my second home: for the love of this place I could close my eyes and draw a map of this place with ease, also for the sadness of this place that I did not feel like going back there again. As if I still sniff the air in Sheffield, this is a place most familiar to me more than my own current neighborhood, but also the chaotic of bitter and sweet memories makes me feel difficult to know if i really love this place or hate it. To me, this kind of feeling is the most mystery, sometimes i try to seek for the answers but eventually i didn't find it, or did i found partial of the answers to questions I've asked a few years back, slowly bit by bit, answered in unexpected form. I am very amazed by how I could be push around and agree just with anything and later grief silently back then, as now I would have claw and bite them for pushing me to the corner. But how would I become in 5 years time? Would I be different from now? Would it be better or worse? I hope I have achieve a personality stability that could define who I really am for the rest of my life.