Rainy day~

It rains around 4 pm in the afternoon.
The first time after my first post here, around 2 years time back, I turn off the computer and TV, with a cup of tea sitting infront of the window looking outside the window. Smell the rain, listen to the rain drops beating on the roof and window.
Then I start to think again. I think I love rainy days, especially when there's a little bit of thunder. It gives me the sensation of being protected and blessed when I am indoor. And it gives me a little sad sensation. Haha.. maybe I am not all that optimistic all the time.

for 2 years.
I miss those time when there are certain people whom I can call up for no reason and catch up with each other
Close friends that are away from Malaysia. Whom are also as lonely as how I feel now.
Most of the weekends I cannot find people to go for mamak, or go somewhere.
It's been long that I do not attach to a group of constant hang out friends
or anyone I can speak out my feeling face to face during a really bad day.
and gone the days I being the listener, to be there when someone close to me is sad, or frustrated, to borrow a shoulder or a hug.
What's everyone doing now?

Then now I realised, I begin to enjoy people talking to me.
It doesn't matter anymore if they are my close friends
whether we know each other well
I just want to keep talking to people
Because they make me feel that I exist.
to remind me to keep on care for others and being considerate for them
For the fear that one day soon I'll forget how to care for people I want to care for
For the fear that one day soon I will not feel sympathy, pity, or love for anyone else around me anymore
For the fear that I'll become selfish and self-centered.
maybe, it makes me feel less lonely.

Hopefully soon I'll feel attach again in a group
and having someone I could genuinely take care of constantly
and to be there for him whenever he needs me
to go through happy and sad moments together
to feel close and meaningful to someone
to find a place I finally belong to~


These few days I've been 'chewing' on some dramas and this anime.
'Clannad after story' based on the first season 'Clannad'.
It's like chewing on a tea leaf, slowly feel the flavour diffusing with different sensation at different phase
or sniff on a fragrant,
it start off with an ordinary top note
but a light and warm hearted middle note
finally with a mesmerizing end note



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Converting Seremban-ian in process~ Nicole really feel the difference between PJ drivers and Seremban drivers after these few months close range comparison! Crazy drivers! may God bless Dugong and drivers around Dugong on the road...